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Apparently I turned in a paper to my science teacher on January…

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Apparently I turned in a paper to my science teacher on January 4, 1998 (I was in 7th grade). From what I can tell, my assignment was to address how to prevent the outbreak of a virus that had recently been found in some horses. But rather than write an entire paper about that, I outlined a simple – and overtly inhumane – outbreak prevention plan in three sentences, and then proceeded to present “fictional story time” to my teacher.

I… can’t believe I turned this in. I must have been the most awesome 7th grader ever to blatantly turn in a ridiculous story instead of actually doing my assigned work. As you can see, I was given a 0/100%. In the teacher’s words: “Sounds good – story was not what I asked for.”

Well played, teacher… well played.

My teacher had a good point, though: the story DOES sound good.

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HAIKU X 12 (14?)

I found a sheet of paper simply titled HAIKU X 12, which contained – you guessed it – 12 Haikus, mostly about my friends. There are also two at the bottom of the page that my friend Captain wrote, which are sadly the closest thing to a payoff you’re going to get in this post. If I had to guess, I would say that I wrote these in either 1999 or 2000 (8th or 9th grade).

I should also note that there was one Haiku that had been scribbled out into oblivion. I have no idea what it said.

Was I trying to write 12 or 14? #badhandwriting

Was I trying to write 12 or 14? #badhandwriting

Mute Mask is stupid
Karl please shut up right now
That picture is dumb

I hate [NAME REDACTED]
He is ugly and stupid
I want to kill him

My name is Cody
I run The Posse’s Web Page
Please call me The Game

Brad is athletic
He likes wrestling like me
We call him The Rock

Logan likes Star Wars
He is good with computers
He has a Dreamcast

Guy is the smallest
He is sugar-high and fast
He hangs out with Luke

Ron likes Gundam Wing
He always talks about it
He likes Space Ghost too

Chrissy is so loud
I could hit her with a rock
She laughs all the time

[[MYSTERIOUS DELETED HAIKU]]

Jon is really strong
He complains about Cody
Smash Brothers is ****

Nima hates [NAME REDACTED]
He wants to rip his arms off
I also want to

Jon likes RPG’s [sic]
He’s good at multiplayer
He’s cheap with Kirby

Jon’s Haikus at the bottom:

Cody’s poems are dumb
Yet are somewhat accurate
Hamburgers fly high

Cody sucks with nukes
He loses Starcraft a lot
Terrans are Jobbers

 

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