Welcome to CodyGough.com! This may be your first visit, because it’s my birthday, and I’m using the powers of Facebook to
trick people into visiting promote my web site. Welcome, and enjoy. I host episodes of Unqualified: A Video Game Podcast here, as well as post stories and poems that are ten years old. I will eventually do more stuff, but I wanted to start simple in 2013.
With that out of the way: exactly 10 years ago, I had an idea. Inspiration like you would never expect. In addition to incredibly artistic drawings of characters from Super Smash Brothers: Melee, I came up with the premise to a story of epic proportions. Observe!
The chilling tale of one Asian woman who bore an entire nation, only to one day be betrayed by her own uterus. Witness the gripping re-enactment of one pedophiliac cannibal’s quest for her “golden children” through the exotic jungles of such countries that start with the letter “T” as Tahiti, Tijuana, and Taiwan. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll cry some more, as the journey takes you through four hundred years of tragedy, comedy, romance, and satire.
A few things:
- Yes, I know I didn’t originally write “Asian,” but the word I DID use wasn’t politically incorrect yet when I wrote it. So sue my 10-years-ago-self. I actually am sorry if that offended you, though… just keep in mind, this was written by a high schooler in a different time. That’s all.
- I’m pretty sure that tragedy, comedy, romance and satire were like, the 4 types of stories we studied in English class. We had also watched Apocalypse Now in class, which I’m sure inspired this entire poem.
- I have no idea where Tahiti is. And I hate myself for ending the previous sentence in a preposition. But at least now I’ve shown that I did learn something in school, so I’ll call that a win.
Look, I never said that none of my stuff would be offensive (DAMN YOU, DOUBLE NEGATIVES), so please keep in mind that a high schooler wrote this stuff and that the “big picture” of my entire 10-year project is to entertain. Sometimes that includes shaking your head in my general direction. Other times, that means seeing my INCREDIBLY ARTISTIC ARTISTRY, especially applied to video games.
Anyway, I went on a kind of sabbatical from my web site in March, but you can look forward to seeing a lot more of my high school genius in April. Thanks for visiting! I hope you enjoy my little project and decide to check out other parts of my site, and more importantly, I hope I can entertain you again soon, because I honestly think making people smile is why I was put on God’s Green Earth®… even if only because I have no other real skills.
Speaking of earth, I like how on my Apple keyboard, I can simply type Option+R to make the ® symbol, but on my Windows 8 laptop, I have to type Alt+0174. HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This post is part of Cody’s “10-Year Idea Reunion” series, in which Cody revisits his creative writing class assignments exactly 10 years after writing them. Learn more about Cody’s Idea Reunion and follow him on WordPress to follow along!
At the top of a page of notes I took on October 27, 2000, in my high school sophomore English class, I decided to draw a terrible (awesome) picture of Rocksteady from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Next to it, I wrote:
“He who fights & runs away lives to fight another day!”
-The Shredder, in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon series; also used by Bebop & Rocksteady, a Warthog & a Rhino, respectively… MUTANT Rhino & Warthog, naturally.
When grading my notes later in the semester (yes, our notes were graded), my teacher wrote “? Not relevant” next the drawing. I… have absolutely no explanation for why I drew that. So let’s move on to the quote immediately following my artistic endeavor:
“You all waited too damn long.”
-My teacher, on something
I like how I was too lazy to even attribute the humorous quote to anything specific. Oh, high school.
Apparently, at some point during my freshman year of high school, I felt it necessary to include this drawing in my class notes. The text below reads:
Why all the war? All the kings would gain control of is new armies and people and get more burdens than pleasures. I think probably most of the kings / pharaohs / emperors were bored or something.
On the back side of this page are miscellaneous notes about Egyptian mythology, so this must have been from my world history class.