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Tag Archive | lulz

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOCRATES!!!

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Me: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOCRATES!!!
Teacher: No, you should’ve been listening!

It looks like I was keeping a running tally of mistakes by “N.B.” (I don’t know who that could be) during a class that covered some of Socrates’ philosophy, as evidenced by the quote:

“The mark of one who knows is to know what he does not know.”

But clearly, the teacher was unimpressed. Ah, sophomore high school English. Makes me feel so… philosophical.

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I can assure you: this was NOT me in high school.

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I can assure you: this was NOT me in high school.

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Apparently I turned in a paper to my science teacher on January…

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Apparently I turned in a paper to my science teacher on January 4, 1998 (I was in 7th grade). From what I can tell, my assignment was to address how to prevent the outbreak of a virus that had recently been found in some horses. But rather than write an entire paper about that, I outlined a simple – and overtly inhumane – outbreak prevention plan in three sentences, and then proceeded to present “fictional story time” to my teacher.

I… can’t believe I turned this in. I must have been the most awesome 7th grader ever to blatantly turn in a ridiculous story instead of actually doing my assigned work. As you can see, I was given a 0/100%. In the teacher’s words: “Sounds good – story was not what I asked for.”

Well played, teacher… well played.

My teacher had a good point, though: the story DOES sound good.

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Analyze THIS!!!

1999 or 2000 Analyze This Pikachu Drawing

 

Apparently, at some point during my freshman year of high school, I felt it necessary to include this drawing in my class notes. The text below reads:

Why all the war? All the kings would gain control of is new armies and people and get more burdens than pleasures. I think probably most of the kings / pharaohs / emperors were bored or something.

On the back side of this page are miscellaneous notes about Egyptian mythology, so this must have been from my world history class.

The XFL

XFL Article

I have heard this blurb from the Rockford Register Star cited more than any other newspaper article in my entire life, very likely due to the fact that most of my friends are trolls and wanted to rub the XFL’s failure in my face. Clearly, though, I wasn’t that much of a fan, or I wouldn’t have kept the article, right? Hah! Who’s laughing now?!!

…not Vince McMahon.

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